Today (11/08) marks the one year anniversary of my not-so-ceremoniously booting from full-time, vocational ministry. A lot has happened to me and my family in the past 365 days. When it comes to change, Yobama has nothing on us.
One thing that has remained a constant in our lives is God's proven faithfulness. Through all the twists and turns, He has never abandoned us. In fact, we have seen more evidence of His working in our lives than ever before. We have never "needed-for" anything. We have been well cared for. We're very healthy. Through it all, we've been able to pay off all of our consumer and medical debt, AND managed to put a little savings in the bank...not a lot, but it's a start. Because of both need- and merit-based financial aid, loans and grants, Natalie and Rachel have been able to pay for school - and are both doing very well (PTL). Nothing has come easy or early or late, but just when, where and how we needed it. Maybe it has come because we've remained faithful to Him in our giving, or in our serving, or through family and good friends continual prayers. The truth is it's probably all the above.
Both Traci and I are very happy in our new full-time gigs. We are surrounded by good, quality people full of integrity. It's too bad that she and I both had to leave located ministry to find ethical, professional work environments (more on that below). I am also staying active in worship ministry by helping several churches - here and in Cincinnati- with their Sunday services. It's like having my cake and eating it too! I've met some new friends and re-connected with old ones along the way; all of whom have been real blessings in my life.
Having had a lot of time to reflect, and being in the position to see things from a different perspective, I want to share a few thoughts about my time (on staff) in the local church.
- If you get too close to the fire, you might get burned. The life-expectancy of a worship pastor is 2.5 years. I'm not at all surprised by that stat. I was the 3rd of 4 worship leaders at Heartland Church in its 6 (now 7) year history. Working closely with the senior pastor in a highly subjective, opinionated, ego-inclined atmosphere is hard to sustain long term. Mix in a bit of artist mentality, and it becomes more complicated. Sprinkle the relationship with differing philosophies and varying ideology and it's over. I think the best ministry to be in might be adult education or children's ministry. Most senior pastors (and church leadership) aren't involved and don't have a clue or really care what goes on in these areas of the church. I've seen my colleagues leading these ministry departments get away with more crap than I could ever imagine...all under the radar.
- Worship pastors make good target practice. Most of the guys I know were being shot at from both sides - in the front by the people and in the back by his bosses. It was certainly true for me. I wore a bulls-eye on my back and chest for 14 years. No matter what you do or how you do it, somebody doesn't like it or like you for doing it. I've often joked that if you gather 10 people in a room to express their opinions about a worship-related issue, you'd get 11 different points of view. It is the ultimate "damned if you do, damned if you don't" job.
- The church is the most political setting I've ever experienced. It's sad, but it's true.
- Seminaries (do a great job preparing preachers and teachers, but) get an 'F' when it comes to leadership development and personnel management training. I worked with several skilled orators and Bible experts who failed when it came to leading others or managing his staff. Think about it. When a church crosses over the 800 threshold, they find themselves in thin air. Only .01% of all churches in the world achieve this mark. So that means 99.9% of all pastors are leading medium- to small-sized congregations with very little education on how to run an organization, manage budgets, or raise up other leaders. However, they are EXPECTED by their congregation to do all of these things well. It's a flawed system and a setup for failure.
- Senior Pastors have issues too. While most pastors can have a wonderful heart, a servant's attitude, and be fully committed, quite often there exists some degree of emotional baggage or self-image issue. They typically have way too little accountability - or people close enough to them to really make them accountable. Most controlling pastors have narcissistic personalities, and can be quite possessive and self-centered. A lot of these traits are enabled, and even inadvertently encouraged, by the very congregation they serve.
- Elders should let the hired help do their job. They are called to be spiritual overseers, not the board of directors or department managers. They have even less of a clue how to lead ministry programs. They wouldn't like it one bit if one of their pastors decided to come and run their business for them. But somehow, it doesn't seem to "work" in reverse in the church.
- Vocational ministry is VERY hard on the family - especially the spouse. WOW! I totally underestimated the stress and strain my work put on my family. My work was their community. They heard all the stuff that was said and done to me, but were in no position to do anything about it. Then, when it didn't work out in the end, I didn't just change jobs, but we were all ousted from our community and demonized by leadership to rationalize their decision.
OK, enough negative. How about some positives.
- My life is much richer as a result. I got to see and do things, go places, and meet people I never could have dreamed or wished for. I have deep, abiding friendships all over this country now. My resume is loaded with one incredible adventure after another. The plethora of experiences and stories will last me a lifetime.
- Life change is the ultimate high. So many people along the way. I witnessed so many lives being ripped from the clutches of Satan into the arms of Jesus. Being permitted to play a part, to be one link in a chain of someone's life story was awesome, and very humbling. Just sitting here writing about it give me chills. So many faces and names flash before my eyes as I type.
- Ministry happens best outside the walls of the church. OK, so I'm not working at a church anymore. I have a new mission field before me now. God has given me a new challenge and opportunity to share my faith. I'm amazed how many times my relationship with Christ has "randomly" come up in a sales pitch, phone call, lunch conversation, or staff meeting. My experiences as a pastor are serving me very well out here in the "real" world.
I love the church and all it stands for. While I am thoroughly enjoying what I'm doing now, and despite some of what I said above, I really loved working in the church. I have no regrets for choosing to serve the local church (and para-church) for most of my adult life. I'm not sure I've ever go back, but I'm glad I had the opportunity.
On the journey,
Hey Phil! This was an insightful post and really set me to thinking... about a lot of things.
If you're ever in Cincinnati, shoot me a message. Skyline's on me.
Posted by: Ron Adams | January 23, 2009 at 03:25 PM